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Coward

Posted by Tai Kagamine Kokoro Veneziano Vargas on October 29, 2013 at 8:45 PM

I am such a coward, afraid of my own heart's emotions. Why is it so hard to tell someone something ? I know what must be done. Hey, would you atleast show a little concern ? Look at me ! I have something to tell you. I want to say it. I want for your ears to hear it. To hear how sorry I am. Even if it doesn't change a thing you still listen to people right ? If you comment something sad, I'm already in tears. So please don't reply. Let me just spill these words to you, and listen to them will you ? Will you hate me ? Will we become awkward again ? Again will we stop talking ? Anything but that please.. I know you have someone else you look at that way now, yet my heart won't accept that answer sorry. I have to tell you all the words I've been hiding in my heart. For so long have they stabbed at me. Will you tell me to stop ? Will you hold me if I cry ? Will it be as painful as I think ? If you don't like whats said then don't say a word. Just pretend it never happened and let's laugh again. Let's be like old times again before everything felll apart. Can we mend that broken bond we called friendship after everything that happened ? I can't stand to see that girl's face. I remember it clearly from the last day I was with you and your family. Two days later you called things off and my light fell apart. Who is it you like now ? Do I like someone else ? I tried to forget and I tried to fall for someone else, but I ended up hurting them too. I am but a liar aren't I ? Saying I was okay with all my questions that last day. I could see us drifting apart to different parts of the sea, and I desperately wanted to call to you but the cold wind froze my words. The words I've been holding in for so long now. Seeing your face makes me a bit teary as everytime I remember when you smiled so gently only to me. Can we go back to those days please ? Can I be given the chance to fix our past ? I really want to. I just wish we could fall in love again. I know you don't want me to cry, but it's a helpless effort. My heart so sensitive when love entered it, has left me broken and in despair. Please tell me your feelings of me. Do you want to forget me ? Have you forgotten the us that use to be ? I know I was so a crybaby. I burdened you. I knew it andI kept doing it. I tried to remain strong. I cried so much. As an excuse for attention I always cried. You were hurting weren't you ? I didn't show you how much I cared. I'm afraid. Afraid of your reply I've waited for to my questions.So many questions I'd drown you if they were water. Please, tell me the truth. Was I used ? Was I a toy for another person ? Was I just a pawn in a summer game ? Please my first love don't become a lie. I wish you still cared about me. I tested to see how much you did. And I was disappointed. You didn't call. You didn't message me. You didn't care if I was okay ? I told you I'd tell you. But I wanted to in person. Please, tomorrow, let me have the chance to tell him. So these words will stop burdening me..

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